To my dearest aunt! Lilies...for my loves

Today my Dearest Aunt passed away from her ovary cancer. Though this is expected, I feel lost of a sweet person of my childhood. She and her husband were a happy couple. Back then, she and her husband periodically drove to the village to visit my family and my grandma, her mom! She usually brought us candies in her visits, the joy for us to see her. She had a kind-hearted face with sweet smile. Very tolerant! One day my brother “cu em” climbed on the guava tree in the backyard, he was almost on top of it when we walked by (my aunt, her husband and me). I was shouting at him to come down, saying “I will tell “chi Phuong” about this. (Chi Phuong was always a scare to us when we did something wrong or something we were not supposed to do). But she told me that: don’t do that, be gentle to ask him to get down. If you rushed him, he might get nervous and fall”. Well, for some reasons I was seldom gentle to my brothers in our childhood. But I did keep in mind what she told me. We took a short cut to my youngest aunt’s house and spent sometime there. I did not really want to go to my youngest aunt house, but I followed them. I wanted to be with her….

I did not have a terribly sweet childhood, to be honest. But once in a while, I had such blessing moments. As a child, subconsciously, I was so grateful for her being in my life.

I was 8 when my father had to make himself Hue hospital resident for his kidney surgeries. I don't remember for how long. I was reluctantly put there with him for 3 days (reluctant because I could not take a bit care of him. I was just his worry. But there should be someone with him). The lady who was taking care of her husband next to my father also took care of me. She cooked for me every meal and took me to the market and everywhere she went. My eyes were fed by exotic images, big streets, nursing classes in the hospital, beautiful , elegant (in a child’s eyes), and prosperous. One time my aunt and her husband came to visit my father, her husband saw a mentally ill minority girl who looked black and dirty and smiled a lot. He teased me by saying that I looked like that girl. I was a little bit insulted but took it very easy as I knew he was teasing, and I liked his smile for me, and especially they brought me candies (keo cau), no 2 brothers, so just me with the whole package! I was very content. They took me out for “phở” (rice noodles with beef). The smelI of “phở” was becoming very special to me. It was not only a kind of food. It was a memory, a feeling! I was happy. They took me for a walk. I was glad. My father was sick and I was alone. They came and brought me the greatest joy. When they left, I was extremely sad.

Even further back, when my father had not yet stayed in the hospital, they came to my house almost every month for supper. No electricity then. For me those were cozy nights. I swallowed food very slowly. My father was usually very sweet to me except *in* the meals because I could take hours for 2 bowls of rice if no one reminded me to chew. When they (my aunt and her husband) came for dinner, and saw how slowly I ate, she told my father to put an alarm clock in front of me in *every meal*, and that he would assign me 2 minutes for each bowl of rice . *Every minutes for each bowl*. I was so scared and stressed! “How in the world can you come up with such an idea?!” But my father did not do that. He was “softer-hearted” with me.

We grew. She’s getting aged. Less travels. She could visit us about twice a year. And those reminded me of the past. Sweet. Invisible but strong. I missed her in her short trips. I envied those with the ones that used to last for hours, sometime a day.

The day before I left for America, we talked. She held my hands, told me to work hard and be a good girl. "Be nice to your sponsors! You are exceptionally lucky to have them in your life!" We had a simple goodbye lunch together! We had picture taken.  Two of us. She gave me a two-hundred thousand VND note. “It will remind you of me”. I felt a big shame about myself not being able to keep it. Actually I did hesitate keeping it or not. Then I chose not to. Deep in my heart I had a slight hope that I would be able to see her again when I come back, though she was already very weak then. But I was so wrong. That day would never come. My camera which kept our picture was stolen. The VND note is no longer with me. I keep her in mind, at heart. But I want something to look at. Now!!!

Comments

[thi nguyen]

sad story...............just wanna cry

[Doug]

What a wonderful testimony to your aunt. I have no doubt you will see her again.

[Ben]

Trang (!),
I am sorry to hear this, hope you are well. I have an aunt with cancer. ..,
Thinking back, I should let you know that when I was little, I couldn't stuff my mouth with food fast enough, so my parents say. I would even push food into my mouth with my fingers to make room for more. Two hours for two bowls of rice...I like that for some reason. I guess we balance each other out.

Today my sister and her boyfriend left Richmond for Austin, TX...good to know there's already good company in the state.

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Thanks Ben! Today all my family and relatives went to see my aunt off to the restful place. She will suffer no pain...

Glad to hear your sister and her boyfriend moving. Hopefully they will love Austin. It's a very nice city. BTW, I googled "Huong Tra" (my hometown district name) it appeared to be a Vietnamese restaurant in Richmond. Huge surprise!!! You must go there, try the food and tell me how it is :-).

Best